i am sorry

before i fall asleep just now i had been thinking about how we met. how we got together. and how i fall in love with you. how sweet you treat me.

i start to realize that it is not about you who is the one who want to end this relationship or rather i should said my "controlling" power was too strong for you to take it. i don't know if you yourself realized this but when i think back to know what kind of person you are actually i find myself have been "ill treating" you.

you are a guy that need a woman to show you care concern and love in a relax way and of cause the freedom that you want to have all the while.
and i had given you care concern love and freedom in a wrong way. as in beginning you might feel all right about being "controlled" by me but slowly you feel breathless and we started to have small conflict/almost quarrel situation. that makes you feel that i did not give you enough freedom. not enough space to breathe hence you decided to step out of this relationship.

when i ask you is it possible that you will take me back to be your gf? your replied to me was: i don't want to confirm anything with you. I don't want leave you hanging there waiting.

and i guess now you might be wondering should you step back in again? but if you step back in you will lost your freedom.

i can say i wouldn't be 100% right in what i had said above but at least 70% right 对吗？

me to you:
if i say you can don't need to worry about above situation anymore because i am willing to compromise in giving you the care concern love and freedom that you need/want for. and i can tell you i am only a simple girl that only needs a simple love relationship which i feel that you can give me. do you think you will take me back? i mean of cause i wouldn't force you for now.

and all these while i wanted to ask you this but i dare not send the sms out to you:
actually i was wondering can we really get to know each other better/more after we turn back to become friend? OR will the feeling from you to me will fade as times goes by?
i realized that we no longer as close as before *before as in day 1 we meet till the date when we really got into BRG* we are like stranger now. our sms was different from that nonsense we used to send each other. the sms topic we had now is always i ask you answer kind of sms. we don't have the chance to meet up or should i say maybe either of us is avoiding each other? we no longer go out in a group for drinks.
am i avoiding you or you are avoiding me?

can we don't avoid each other?

or do you want me to leave you alone for some time to think? as in really really don't sms you? *but i hope i really can do that. =x*